


Accidentally In Love

by opal_sapphire



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Florists, Friends to Lovers, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2020-03-29 11:17:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 9,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19018825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/opal_sapphire/pseuds/opal_sapphire
Summary: Nat invites you to her birthday party.  One problem: your ex, who you still have feelings for, is gonna be there too.  So you have the brilliant idea of asking Loki to be your fake boyfriend. What could possibly go wrong?





	1. Chapter 1

Oh God. Oh God. This just had to happen to you. Just your luck. Of course you couldn't catch a break.

You needed a plan. You needed an idea. Something to combat what was gonna happen. Something to at least combat the sudden rush of anxiety and borderline panic running through you from reading a simple piece of paper.

After all, it's not like the paper contained your death sentence, or any truly terrible news. No, it only contained a blow to your pride. You read it again, just to be sure your eyes weren't playing tricks on you.

Nope. Yep. You read right. Great.

You were invited to Natasha's birthday party. Apparently it was gonna last the whole weekend. This wasn't the problem. You loved Nat. You loved her even more now for scrawling a heads up in the corner of the card.

_Christian is coming._

Christian. Your ex. Your asshole ex. You broke up with him a year ago, and somehow still had feelings for him. You didn't want to, but you couldn't help it.

You dropped the card on the kitchen counter with a groan. Of course Nat had invited him. Of course he had said yes.

You could say no. Make up some reason not to go. Or just tell her you didn't want to be near Christian. Or you could go and be miserable. You could go to your friend's birthday party and deal with it. Or you could go and end up ruining the weekend with your discomfort.

Or...

Oh. _Oh._ Idea. Idea, idea, idea.

You left your apartment and into the elevator, going up two floors. As soon as the doors opened, you bolted to your best friend's door and knocked. Maybe a little too hard, but you didn't really care right now.

Loki opened the door, slightly annoyed. On seeing your expression, he raised an eyebrow and moved to let you in. You shot inside and spun on your heel to face him.

"Willyoubemyfakeboyfriend?" You blurted.

"I beg your pardon?" He replied, slightly incredulous.

"Will you be my fake boyfriend?" You repeated. "Nat invited me to her birthday party this weekend, and my ex is gonna be there and I don't want him to know I might still have feelings for him."

"Why is he going to be there?"

"Nat's friend's with him too."

"Which ex?"

Your expression instinctively soured. "Christian."

Loki mimicked your expression. "I never liked him. So your plan," he added, "is to have a fake partner to convince him you're over him?"

You nodded.

"And you chose to come to me."

You nodded again.

A mischievous grin spread across his face. "This will be fun."

Your grin was more relieved than mischievous.

"When do we start?" Loki asked.


	2. Chapter 2

"Y/N, this is ridiculous."

"It's necessary."

"I'm not practicing kissing you."

"No one's gonna believe us if we're not natural."

"Have you ever kissed anyone?"

"Yeah. Have you?"

"Yes. We don't need to practice."

"I'll bake you free cookies for a month."

"Two months."

"Deal."

You both still hesitated. For way too long. You were the one to make the first move--an extremely awkward pressing of your lips to Loki's. Neither of you moved, did anything, until you pulled away.

"This is weird," you whispered.

"I told you," he replied.

You huffed and crossed your arms. "Shut up. What do we tell people? They're gonna ask how we started dating, and I'd rather not make it up on the fly."

You could see the gears turning in his head as he thought. He should be a writer. He'd make a damn good one, too, the way he weaves words together.

Though you supposed a florist was even more fitting. Loki liked to leave messages with his flower arrangements. Not many people who ordered from him knew, and those few who did asked for a message.

"It's still new," he finally said. "If we say we've been together for too long, no one will buy it."

"I asked you," you said.

He nodded. "We ordered in, it went well, and here we are."

You bit your lip. "Doesn't seem like enough to convince people. Nat will sense it. She's not a private investigator for nothing."

"If she or any others ask about more intimate details, simply fill in the blanks as if you're speaking about your one true love."

You chuckled. "I think "one true love" is pushing it, but okay."

You frowned again. Loki shot you a look. "It will be fine, Y/N. It's only for the weekend."

"We'll have to fake a break up when it's over."

"This will be our first trip together as a couple. They say the first one makes or breaks the relationship, which is ridiculous, but this will break the relationship. When we leave, act tense. Angry, perhaps. And, after we come home, we'll be broken up."

Your frown began to flip. "Okay, an actual plan, I like it."

You stretched your arms out above your head. "Time to get packing."


	3. Chapter 3

The car ride to the house everyone would be spending the weekend at was the most nerve-wracking car ride you'd ever experienced. Loki had taken one look at you before you left and decided he would be driving. You didn't even bother arguing.

What if it all fell apart? What if no one bought it for even a second, called you out on your bullshit? _God_ , what if Christian was the first to figure it out? You would never recover from that, and Loki would probably never speak to you again from the embarrassment the situation would bring.

"You're bouncing your leg."

You looked at him. "What?"

"You're bouncing your leg," he repeated.

"Am not."

"Look down."

You did so. "Okay, maybe I am."

Loki glanced at you. "It'll be fine."

You chewed your bottom lip. "What if no one believes us?"

"They will."

"But what if they don't?"

"They won't if you have that expression. You look like a child who's been caught stealing sweets."

You glared at him and crossed your arms. "Well, you can't blame me for being nervous," you huffed.

"Given your inexperience at lying for longer than a few minutes, no, I cannot," Loki conceded, ignoring your indignant squawk. "But that's precisely why you have me. Simply follow my lead, Y/N. I'll make sure everyone who sees us believes that we're together."

Though you were still nervous, you couldn't help but relax a bit. Damn, he was good at that.  
\----------------------------------------------------------  
Only a few hours later, and Loki was parking. The festivities didn't start until tomorrow, giving those who had RSVP'd plenty of time to arrive. Judging by the number of cars already there, you guessed you were either the last or right in the middle of arrivals.

Natasha and Wanda were the first to greet you. You forced yourself to keep relaxed as Nat looked between you and Loki, clearly questioning what exactly his presence meant. Wanda, on the other hand, didn't let her ask as she showed you and Loki to your room. You suspected she already assumed you were a couple since she only showed you one room.

"I'll let you two unpack," she said, "but don't take too long! Everyone's downstairs catching up."

"Are we last?" You asked.

"No," Wanda replied, shaking her head. "A couple people are still coming."

You nodded, and she closed the door behind her. You sagged in relief, dropping on the edge of the bed and blowing out a breath. You glanced at Loki, who was already unpacking. The man wasted no time.

"I think Wanda's already bought it," you said.

He nodded. "It's obvious, given that she didn't ask if we wanted separate rooms."

"Unless they wouldn't have enough room for that," you remarked, standing. You began to unpack your bags.

"Natasha suspects something."

"We're gonna have to make sure to convince her, or we're fucked."

"Are you more concerned about her or Christian?"

"I'll put it this way: if we can't convince Nat, we can't convince him. Unless we bribe her."

"Bribery won't be necessary."

"I sure as hell hope not."  
\--------------------------------------------------------  
You didn't have time to worry about it. Everyone was there, talking and laughing and having a good time, and they all cheered when you two entered the room. The excitement got to you quickly, and you were already thoroughly enjoying yourself.

That is, until the next party members arrived.

"We made it!"

You swore violently in your head as the sound of merriment died down. Seemed everyone noticed the sudden tension. Nat shot you an apologetic look. You smiled back at her--it was fine, he was her friend too. Besides, you were supposed to be with Loki now.

Speaking of Loki, where the actual fuck was he?

You didn't get to worry about that, because Christian chose that moment to walk in. With his girlfriend.

Nat was the first to greet them, and the chatter resumed to a normal volume. Not nearly as boisterous as before, though. And just when you were about to make a quick escape, Loki appeared next to you. He looked at Christian, then at you, then grabbed your hand and laced your fingers together.

For some reason, you couldn't help but marvel at how natural it felt. Like it was completely normal to hold hands with Loki, as if you'd been dating long enough for it to feel this, this...ordinary.

"Y/N, good to see you, how've you been?"

You blinked, then forced what you hoped was a pleasant smile. "Christian. I'm well. You?"

"Good, good," Christian replied. He gestured to the woman hanging on his arm. "This is Elena, my girlfriend."

"Nice to meet you," Elena said, holding her hand out to you.

You took it. "Likewise." You gestured to Loki. "This is my boyfriend, Loki."

You noticed Christian sizing him up. Loki squeezed your hand lightly. You squeezed back as Loki held out his hand. "Pleasure."  
Christian only smiled as he shook Loki's hand, though it came off more as a showing of teeth. Elena, however, was much more pleasant.

They moved on to greet everyone else. You didn't realize until he let go that Loki had been brushing his thumb over your knuckles.

"I'm gonna get something to drink," you said. "Want anything?"

He shook his head. "No, thank you."

You noticed Christian looking at you from the corner of your eye. You placed your hand on Loki's shoulder and kissed his cheek before heading to the kitchen area on the other side of the room.

It was there that Nat pounced.

"So you and Loki?"

" _Oh my God!_ "

She smirked. "Did I scare you?"

"Yeah, you did," you laughed. "I know being sneaky is kinda your thing, but damn. And yes, me and Loki."

Wanda came over. "How many does that make now?" She asked Nat.

"Almost all," Nat replied.

You looked between them. "What, how many people you've scared so far?"

"Yup," Wanda confirmed, popping the P.

You chuckled, though it quickly became a groan when you saw the look on Nat's face. "Are you really gonna do this now?"

"I've got you cornered," she replied.

You sighed.

"What are you talking about?" Wanda asked, confused.

"Y/N and Loki," Nat replied.

"So I was right!"

You nodded. "Yeah, you're right. We're dating."

"Alright, spill, all the details, don't hold anything back."

Your laugh was nervous now. "Well, don't expect much just yet. We haven't been dating that long. I asked him."

Nat raised an eyebrow.

"I did!" You leaned in. "Honestly, I didn't think he'd say yes," you admitted. "It wasn't anything grand. We ordered in, watched a movie."

"That's all it took?" Wanda asked.

You raised your hands. "Hey, I'm not complaining. If I'd known it before I would've done it a long time ago."

"He's such a hardass, though."

You pursed your lips, putting on a show of hesitating. "He's actually a big softie," you whispered. "When it's just the two of us, anyway. In public he's a lot more subtle. Image to maintain and all that."

They nodded, then almost simultaneously looked over at Loki. You did the same. He was talking with Thor and Val.

"He does seem to care about you," Nat remarked.

Loki met your gaze at that moment. He seemed to silently be asking if you were alright. You smiled, and it was not just for show, nor just to communicate that yes, you were fine.

"Yeah, he does."  
\--------------------------------------------------------  
That night, everyone had collectively decided to go to bed at a decent hour. For reference, decent meant midnight at the earliest. You and Loki, however, were in bed by 11:59, so, if you really wanted to get into specifics, you supposed 11:59 was actually the earliest.

"Does Natasha believe us?" Loki asked.

You rolled on to your right side to face him. "I think so. Wanda definitely does, and I think that helped Nat believe it. Has anyone said anything to you?"

"My brother," he sighed. "He required no convincing. He congratulated me."

"I feel kinda bad," you admitted quietly. "About lying. Dragging you into this."

He looked at you. "You didn't drag me into anything, Y/N."

"You don't call me almost knocking down your front door and bombarding you with this dragging you into it?"

"No. You're forgetting that I agreed to come along. Besides," he added, cutting you off when you opened your mouth to argue, "I can assure you there is no one I would rather fake date more."

You couldn't help but smile a little.


	4. Chapter 4

You woke up slowly. It took you a moment to realize that, at some point in the night, you and Loki had managed to tangle yourselves together. Honestly, you weren't complaining. He was still asleep, so you closed your eyes against the sunlight streaming through the gaps in curtains.

You were almost completely asleep when Loki woke up. You felt him stretch, and his left hand came to rest on your back. He started drawing lazy circles on your back.

"You're comfy," you mumbled.

"And you're half asleep," he replied.

Before you could make a snappy comeback, his fingers brushed your side, and you automatically twitched. Loki stopped.

You swore you could hear that damn mischievous smirk in his voice. "Did that tickle?"

"No." You were wide awake now.

"Spoken too quickly to be true."

"Loki, don't you fucking dare."

He did dare. He brushed his fingers against your side again, and this time you couldn't help the small noise from the back of your throat along with another twitch. And so Loki began tickling you, and you tried your hardest not to give him the satisfaction of hearing you laugh.

You struggled to get up and away, make a mad dash for the bathroom, but his grip was unrelenting. God, he was strong.

You quit struggling for a moment, trying to catch your breath. Loki relaxed his grip for only a moment, and you took your chance. You jerked yourself as hard as you could, and almost made it, but he rolled you over so he was on top of you.

"Nice try," he said, continuing to tickle you.

" _Loki_ , I swear to _God_ \--"

You cut yourself off with a yelp, then caught your breath again. " _Loki!_ ”

" _Oh_ my _God!_ "

Loki stopped. You froze for a second, then peeked over his shoulder.

Thor was standing in the doorway, face beet red and covering his eyes. He spoke quickly.

"I just wanted to see if you were awake, but I can clearly see you are, um, it's time to get ready to go, I'll just, um, close this behind me, and uh..."

He left, closing the door behind him. Loki rolled off you. You stared at the ceiling, biting your cheek to keep from laughing.

"Do you think he thinks..." You trailed off.

"Judging by how high his voice went, I'd say he does," Loki replied.

The corners of your lips twitched. "You should've seen his face. He was covering his eyes."

He muttered what sounded like a laughed curse under his breath. You grinned.  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------  
The celebration was kicked off with a day at the beach. Most of the group was either sunbathing or playing in the water. You and Loki were relaxing under a large umbrella on your respective towels and stacks of pillows.

"Sorry it's the beach," you said.

"So long as no one attempts to force me out of the shade, I will be fine," Loki replied.

You leaned forward to slather some sunscreen on your legs. Giggling caught your attention. You glanced to your right and saw Christian and Elena. They were being cute and affectionate. Keeping close to each other, sharing little kisses. You couldn't help the pang in your chest, and you quickly looked away.

You leaned back against the pillows and closed your eyes, trying to shut it out of your mind. So what if Christian was being openly affectionate with his girlfriend when he never was with you? So what if he showed her he loved her when he never showed you? It shouldn't bother you anymore. It didn't. And you would keep telling yourself that until you believed it, even as the pang in your chest remained the more you thought about it.

Feeling something touch your hands, you opened your eyes. Loki had taken your hand, just like yesterday, and laced your fingers together. He brought your joined hands up to his lips and kissed the back of yours. You smiled, feeling other's eyes on you, but it was not just for show. Nor was it for show when you rested your head on his shoulder and closed your eyes, content to stay right there.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
It wasn't until you were laying in bed that night that you thought about it. It wasn't as hard as you'd thought, pretending to be dating Loki. In fact, there were moments you had to remind yourself that this was fake. Small moments, quick moments, but still...moments.

And each time you reminded yourself, you ignored that little feeling in your chest that hated the thought of this ending, that voice in the back of your mind trying to convince you to make this real. You didn't want this to end. That pang in your chest from seeing Christian and Elena wasn't heartache, like you'd thought. It was jealousy.

Jealousy of what they had, that you didn't. That you were faking it with Loki just to save face, to make yourself feel better. You knew this whole fake dating thing wasn't a good idea, had known it from the start. But now you were really starting to regret it. You and your stupid pride, your stupid ego, you just couldn't handle it, could you?

"Y/N."

You blinked, taken out of your thoughts. You looked over at Loki. "Hmm?"

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah."

He didn't seem convinced. "Did you hear my brother scream?"

You laughed. "You mean when you dumped a bucket full of ice on him? I'm pretty sure the whole frickin country heard him."

He grinned, clearly proud of himself.

"Thank you," you said quietly after a moment. "For earlier."

"What are fake boyfriends for?" He replied.

You smiled, hiding the fact that such a simple sentence caused such pain in your chest.


	5. Chapter 5

The second day was much more relaxed. The house had come with a pool, and that, coupled with the nice weather, meant everyone congregated around or in the pool. It was cloudier today than yesterday, so Loki spent more time outside.

As the sun began its descent, dinner was served inside. Everything was going well, nothing but more of the laughing and talking that there had been outside. Then Christian decided to spark up a conversation with Loki. The seating had just so happened to work out so you and Loki were sitting together on one side of the table, and Christian and Elena were together on the other side. Christian was directly across from Loki, who was on your right. Elena was on Christian's left.

"Y/N's a lot to handle, am I right?" Christian asked.

Your head snapped up. He couldn't be serious. Was he really about to drag you _now_ , in front of your friends, his current girlfriend, and your (fake) boyfriend? A fucking _year_ after you'd broken up?

Loki grabbed your hand under the table and gently squeezed. You squeezed back and relaxed. Marginally.

"Any relationship is a lot to handle," Loki replied coolly.

"I remember when we were dating, I could never get Y/N to shut up."

The table went completely silent. Everyone was watching, and you could only stare at Christian.

Loki's voice was deadly calm. "It's a good thing you're not dating anymore, then."

"How do you do it?"

"Do what, exactly?"

"Keep Y/N quiet."

"I don't," Loki said flatly. "I would never try to get Y/N to shut up. Y/N means the world to me. If it makes Y/N happy to talk to me, who am I to try to put an end to it?"

Christian opened his mouth to reply, but Elena stiffly placed her hand on his shoulder. Judging by the look on her face, you guessed they would be talking later. Privately.

"Nat, tell us about those rivals who hired you to investigate each other," Tony called from one end of the table.

She obliged, and you silently thanked both of them. The tension began to dissipate. You realized then you were still squeezing Loki's hand--probably way too hard--and relaxed your grip. He ran his thumb over your knuckles and kissed your temple. Neither of you let go until after dinner.  
\------------------------------------------------------  
"Y/N."

You turned and raised an eyebrow.

"I wanted to apologize," Elena said. "Christian was way out of line. He never should've said those things about you, especially not to Loki's face. I should've made him stop sooner."

"It's not your fault," you assured her. "Christian is who he is, he does what he does, says what he says. It's no one's fault but his own. Thank you for apologizing, though," you added.

"I know he should be the one apologizing, but..."

He wouldn't. "I know."

There was an awkward pause. Luckily, there was a clock hanging on the wall, so you took the opportunity to glance up at it.

"Well, I'm gonna head to bed," you said. "I wanna be up in time to see what Nat has planned for tomorrow."

"Right, I should, too," Elena agreed. "Goodnight."

"Night."

You turned and began making your way to your room. You would've made it there with no other interruptions, but you heard voices drifting over from the kitchen.

"If you hurt Y/N, I'm gonna have to kill you." Natasha.

"The thought has never crossed my mind." Loki.

"When Y/N falls, Y/N falls hard."

"I do not take Y/N's affections lightly, Natasha. I care about Y/N far more than you'll ever know."

You smiled to yourself and continued on. That smile quickly faded when you remembered it was all for show. Loki was supposed to be your boyfriend, of course he would be telling Nat these things. She didn't know. No one did. They were all meant to believe you were together, and what better way to do it than to tell everyone how much you loved--cared for each other.

You shook your head as you crawled in bed. It was fake. All of it. None of this was real. You'd suggested this, agreed on this, and you were gonna stick to it. It was working (too) well. One more day, and it would be over. You and Loki would "break up", and everything would go back to how it was before, and it would be fine.

The door opened, cutting your little mental speech off, and Loki entered.

"Elena apologized to me," you said after he closed the door.

He raised an eyebrow. "She what?"

"She apologized to me, for how Christian was during dinner."

He grabbed his pajamas off the back of a chair. "Was she genuine?"

"Yeah. She's a nice person. It's Christian who's the asshole."

Loki went into the attached bathroom, leaving the door cracked just enough to continue your conversation. "I nearly killed him."

"I know. I think Elena and Nat might've beaten you to it."

He hummed. "What did you ever see in him?"

Even though he couldn't see you, you shifted, and when he opened the door, you focused on fluffing your pillow as you spoke. "I was...lonely. He fit the bill. I only put up with him because I thought I could get him to do better. I couldn't."

When you and Christian had initially split, everyone who thought he was an asshole asked you the same question. And when you gave the same answer you just gave Loki, there was always pity in their eyes. You grew to hate the pity after the first few times.

Now, however, when you looked at Loki--now under the covers next to you--as you finished speaking, there was no pity. Instead, there was understanding. And you appreciated it.

"Thank you for standing up for me," you said.

"You don't have to thank me," Loki replied. "He has terrible manners."

You smiled a little and looked away. "I'm just not used to it."

"To what?"

"Someone standing up for me."

There was a brief pause. You glanced at Loki, and his expression had softened more than you had ever seen in the last five years of knowing him.

"I think it's time that changed," he said softly.

Those words, combined with his expression, made you realize you had never told anyone-- _anyone_ \--that before. And your smile, though small, was radiant.


	6. Chapter 6

To celebrate the last day of her birthday weekend, Nat had decided everyone would go bar hopping. Her birthday was actually today, and it wasn't until bars began to open that the last leg of the party officially began.

You avoided having too much alcohol. Some members had stayed behind at previous bars, and you had taken it upon yourself to make sure each group had at least one sober member. You were determined to stay with whoever was left at the end of the night--which would most likely be Nat and Tony, probably Thor, maybe even Steve, though he had a high tolerance for alcohol and likely wouldn't be that drunk. Loki would be with you, of course. He was staying sober as well.

That didn't mean you weren't enjoying yourself. For once, Christian was the last thing on your mind. You weren't thinking about him, you weren't worried about him. You weren't even entirely sure where he was at the moment; he and Elena had stayed behind at one of the bars you'd left. You, for one, were not complaining.

"All our favorite couples are getting on the dance floor now!" Tony shouted.

As if on cue, a slow song began playing.

Oh God.

Couples quickly filled the dance floor. You wanted to shrink down into a mouse like Peter Pettigrew and run away. Neither you nor Loki made a move.

"Y/N!" Nat called. "Loki! Get your asses over there or I'll drag you!"

Oh _God_.

You glanced at Loki, eyes wide. He took your hand and lead you on the dance floor. Your arms automatically went around his neck as his hands settled on your waist as you began swaying. You immediately relaxed.

"What happens when this is over?" You asked.

Loki hesitated. "I don't know."

"I don't want this to end," you confessed.

His eyes widened a fraction, and his next words were slow. "Nor do I."

God, you were standing so close together. You could kiss him, if you wanted to. And you did. You were ready to end the fake relationship and start a real one.

He could kiss you, if he wanted to. You wondered--hoped that he did. That he was ready to end the fake relationship and start a real one, too.

And for a moment, you swore on every single star in the sky that it was happening. That Loki was leaning toward you, and you were leaning toward him, not caring about anyone or anything around you--

"We're heading out!" Steve called. "Anyone who wants to come should come now!"

You blinked. Had you imagined it? Slipped into a little daydream that felt a little too real? You were inclined to come to that conclusion.

But judging by the look on Loki's face, maybe not. Maybe that had really happened.

Oh my God. Had that really happened?

Loki leaned in, this time to whisper in your ear. "If it's alright with you, I think it's time to go."

You nodded, hopes soaring. Taking his hand, you lead him out of the bar, pausing only to tell Steve you were leaving, since he was the most sober one left after you and Loki. He simply grinned and ushered you on. Nat winked at you, and Wanda gave you a thumbs up. You smiled.

Loki took you back to the house. You had no clue when he'd found time to explore--you certainly hadn't--but he showed you the garden.

Rows and rows of flowers, all different kinds. Carnations, hydrangeas, chrysanthemums, roses. Whatever flower you could think of, it was there. And under the light of the full moon, it was beautiful. You were sure it was also beautiful in daylight, but you would take the view of this garden in moonlight any day. Or night.

You were still holding hands. There was no one else around to see it, but neither of you were putting on a show anymore.

Loki picked one of the flowers. An amaryllis. He gently slid it behind your ear.

"What does it mean?" You asked.

"Splendid beauty," he said softly.

Your eyes widened.

"Because you," he continued, "are beautiful."

You ducked your head, smiling. When you looked back up, you got that same feeling you'd had in the bar, that Loki was about to kiss you. Instead, he lifted your hand to his lips and kissed the back of your hand.

This was so very different than when he'd kissed your hand at the beach. That was for show, solely for the benefit of the charade. This was a soft brushing of his lips over your knuckles, lingering a little too long to be for show or anything like that. Besides, there was no audience. No one else around except the two of you.

And as you slowly made your way back to the house, you thought that it was probably a good thing you didn't kiss yet. Neither of you knew exactly what this was, hadn't talked about it at all, hadn't established anything. Maybe playing it safe was best in this moment, even if you wanted to say "fuck it" and kiss Loki silly.

Regardless, you could feel the change between you. And it scared and thrilled you all at once.


	7. Chapter 7

The whole weekend, Loki had been up before you. The first two times, he was in the shower, buying you a few more minutes of precious snooze time. The third time--yesterday--you had woken in his arms. He'd simply whispered to you to go back to sleep, and when you'd woken up again, the shower was on and he was out of bed.

This time, however, you did not wake when he was in the shower. This time, Loki had nudged you awake. He was dressed and ready to go, and once that observation clicked in your brain, you shot up cursing.

" _Shit_ \--what time is it? I'm the last one up, aren't I? God, I still need to pack--"

"Y/N, slow down," Loki said, trying to hide his chuckle. "You're not the last one up. I haven't seen him today, but I can guarantee you my brother will be the last one up."

You groaned and flopped back down, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes. "So there's still time to pack?"

"Plenty, I assure you."

The following silence made you sit back up, criss-crossing your legs. You raised an eyebrow.

"We need to discuss how we plan to break up," he said quietly.

Your heart plummeted, and you desperately tried to hide the disappointment and sadness in your voice. "Oh."

You didn't look at the amaryllis on the night stand. Loki did. He stared at it for a bit while you played with your fingers.

"There is, however, another option," he said slowly.

You shoved down hard that hope that fluttered something in your chest. You wished he would quit looking at that damn flower and just look at you, so you could try to get some semblance of what he was feeling, no matter how hard that would be since it was Loki, and Loki didn't like to express his feelings very often.

As if hearing your thoughts, he finally looked away from the amaryllis and at you, and you cursed yourself for wanting it, because now he would surely see it on your face, and he wouldn't feel the same, no matter what that flower meant--

"We could end our false relationship and begin a real one."

Your breath caught in your throat, eyes widening, heart racing. You could've sworn you were dreaming, yet you knew you weren't.

You had taken too long in responding.

"Or we could go on with the original plan," Loki said as he looked away.

He stood and turned to head to the door. You scrambled out of bed, briefly tangled in the covers, almost falling over, and caught his wrist. He froze, but didn't turn around. You slid your hand down to his, laced your fingers together, and pulled so he turned around to face you, and you kissed him.

He immediately kissed back, cupping your face with both of his hands, and you wrapped your arms around his neck. And when you pulled away, Loki looked at you like you were the most marvelous thing in the world.

"I like the second option," you said.  
\---------------------------------------------  
It was time to go. Everyone was packed and saying goodbye, on their way back to normal life. You had just run back inside to grab your last bag when Christian caught you in the hall.

"Y/N."

For once, the sound of his voice filled you with annoyance, not dread. You didn't want to talk to him. Not because you still had feelings for him--those feelings were long gone--but because you didn't like him and therefore didn't want to deal with him.

So when you looked at him, clearly annoyed, you only raised an eyebrow at him.

"I'm sorry for what I said the other night," he apologized. "It wasn't right, and I shouldn't have done it."

You didn't believe him for a second. "I appreciate you saying that. Tell Elena I said goodbye."

With that, you carried on your way to retrieve that bag, completely unaware of the person who had just stormed away.  
\---------------------------------------------  
The car ride home was tense. You didn't understand why. Loki was driving again. He'd already been in the driver's seat when you got in the car, so you just went with it. His grip on the steering wheel was vicelike, and his stormy gaze was set on the road ahead. He hadn't said a word to you since this morning, and you were almost home.

You didn't ask at first. Loki liked to be alone with his thoughts when he was upset, liked to think things through. So you waited until home was only about thirty minutes away.

"What's wrong?" You finally asked.

Your words were met with silence.

"Hey."

His tone was frigid. "Cozying up to Christian, are we."

You blinked. "Excuse me?"

"I should've known better than to believe for even a moment that any of this was real. That it wasn't all false."

"Loki--"

"It was all meant to be fake in the end."

"Would you let me--"

"I hadn't meant to fall in love with you, you know."

Your jaw dropped. "What did you just say?"

He didn't reply.

" _Loki_ , you can't just say something like that and then not elaborate, for fuck's sake."

"I can, and I will, just like you can and will use people to get what you want."

"Fucking _excuse me?_ "

"Really, Y/N, he has a girlfriend now. Perhaps it's time to move on. No one wishes to be your toy--"

" _Shut up, just shut your fucking mouth, Loki!_ " You screamed, eyes burning.

Loki pulled the car to a stop in front of the apartment building you two lived in. Neither of you moved to exit the car.

"How fucking dare you," you seethed. He opened his mouth to speak, but you cut him off. "No, you had your turn, now it's mine."

You swallowed. "I don't give a flying fuck about Christian anymore. I stopped caring over the course of the weekend. Yeah, you and I were meant to be faking it, but somehow you managed to get me to fall for you. I don't know how you did it, but it happened. I know that you know you're making a big-ass something out of nothing. I'm not fucking finished," you snapped.

"You hadn't meant to fall in love with me? Well I've got news for you, I hadn't planned on falling in love with you either. I wasn't fucking using you to get my asshole ex-boyfriend back. But hey, if this is how you want it to go, fine."

You got out of the car, then stuck your head back in. "And for the record, you absolute asshole, Christian was apologizing to me."

You slammed the door shut, grabbed your bags from the back of the car, and stormed inside. In the building, up the elevator, down the hall, and even as you closed and locked your apartment door, you expected Loki to come after you. Apologize, maybe, though you knew he was bad at it.

He didn't come.

You were so preoccupied, you almost didn't notice the bouquet of flowers sitting on your kitchen counter. You almost started crying right there, but you bit your lip and held back the tears.

You threw yourself into unpacking. The distraction of moving things around and putting them back into place was well needed and appreciated. Once you were done, you looked up what the flower arrangement meant.

Asters, bellflowers, honeysuckles, and red tulips. All meant love. And when you looked at the note that had come with them, you didn't have to read the name it had been signed with. You recognized Loki's handwriting.

You sat down on your couch and cried.


	8. Chapter 8

Three months. Three long months of no talking, no texting, nothing. You didn't even see Loki anymore. At this point you would be content with a screaming match, because _God_ you missed him.

Routine helped. Get up, shower, eat, drink, go to work, come home, eat, sleep. You took good care of yourself. And the flowers, until they eventually died, and you were forced to throw them out.

You almost didn't. You were tempted to just let them sit there, a reminder of how quickly your relationship with Loki had gone down the drain. In the end, you threw them out.

You never said a word to anyone about it. No one asked. You didn't know if they knew, let alone _what_ they knew.

Then there was a knock on your door one afternoon on your day off. Nat and Wanda were paying a visit. You hadn't seen them since that weekend. Nat had gone off on a case, and Wanda had been traveling on a humanitarian mission.

You smiled when you saw them and let them in.

"I thought for sure you and Loki would've been moved in together by now," Wanda remarked.

You tried to hide it. You tried your _damnedest_ , but the tears--the first ones to show up since that day--pooled in your eyes, and Nat caught sight of them before you could duck your head.

"I'm gonna kill him" was all she said. Your small chuckle was watery.

Wanda hugged you, quick and tight, then lead you to the couch. She and Nat sat on either side of you.

"What happened?" Nat asked.

"We broke up," you replied quietly. You didn't say why. You didn't want to get into the details of everything that had gone on just yet.

"But you seemed so in love," Wanda said. "You were so good together."

"I know," you agreed, voice cracking. "God, I know. And it still got fucked up."

You covered your face with your hands and tried to steady your breath. Nat was the first to take your hand, and you laid your head on her shoulder. Wanda took your other hand and laid her head on your shoulder.

It still hurt--fuck, it hurt--but you didn't feel so alone anymore.


	9. Chapter 9

As much as you loved Nat and Wanda, you sometimes questioned their judgment. See, they had set you up on a blind date. Now you were waiting for your date to show.

And when they did, you almost hid in the restroom.

"Go on this blind date" they said. "You'll love them" they said. "It'll be fun" they said.

Well, they were right about one thing. You did love your date.

"Blind date?" You asked, not making eye contact.

"Yes," Loki replied.

You sighed, and the silence dragged on. After the most unbearable five minutes your life, you just left the restaurant.

Thank God you hadn't even sat down yet.

And then Loki caught up to you and started walking next to you. Without speaking.

"What're you doing?" You asked.

"Making sure you get to your car," he replied.

"Oh, so now you care about me?" You scoffed.

He glanced at you. "I beg your pardon?"

"You accuse me of using you, ignore me for three damn months, and you suddenly care about me again?"

"What was I supposed to do, Y/N?" He sighed.

"Oh, I don't know, Loki, maybe talk to me? Tell me what you wanna do, where we stand? That would be a start."

"Nothing has changed."

You arrived at your car and stopped walking. You turned to look at him, incredulous.

" _Everything_ has changed and you damn well know it," you snapped.

"This never would have happened if you hadn't asked me," Loki hissed.

He was doing that thing he always does when he gets defensive and tries to hide his feelings. Trying to loom over you, make himself bigger, trying to intimidate you. Both of you knew it never worked with you.

"You didn't have to say yes," you shot back. "Why the hell were you jealous in the first place?"

"I wasn't jealous."

"Bullshit. If you weren't jealous, why did you blow up at me when you saw me and Christian talking?"

"Because you hate him."

You laughed sardonically. "You got pissed at me for talking to my ex because I hate him? You know what, never mind. Now that I think about it, it's really none of your business."

"We never should've done this," he said.

"You're right," you replied. "We shouldn't have."

"That kiss was a mistake."

It's amazing how five simple words can break your heart. As soon as they left his lips, your heart cracked, then cracked again and again until it broke apart. Your eyes burned, and your throat began to close, but you'd be damned if you let Loki see you cry.

The worst part was you could see the regret in his eyes. He didn't mean it. But he'd said it, hadn't stopped himself, and now the damage was done. So, as tears pooled in your eyes, and his gaze began to soften, and that began to _piss you off_ , you got in your car and sped off back home.

You had to pull over halfway there. Your sobs couldn't wait.


	10. Chapter 10

"We really thought it would work, Y/N," Wanda said, guilt written on her face.

"I know. I'm not upset at either of you," you added, looking at her and Nat in turn.

"He's an asshole," Nat said.

You nodded. "I know."

"You have such bad luck," Wanda added.

You grinned. "Don't I?"

You bit your lip, grin quickly fading. Your own guilt was creeping up on you, yet you weren't sure if you should do something about it.

Well, with you and Loki effectively finished--that word hurt--you decided it didn't really matter now. Time to fess up.

"I need to tell you guys something," you began.

You told them everything. How it was fake at first, how it changed, how it went wrong. Everything.

"I knew you were hiding something," Nat said.

You snorted.

"You realize you followed the trope, right?" Wanda asked.

"Yup," you replied.

"How bad?" Nat asked.

"Bad," you admitted.

"What about Loki?"

"I don't think so. Not anymore."

"Why not?" Wanda asked.

"He said the kiss was a mistake," you replied.

"Fuck him," Nat said. "You're too good for him."

Righteous anger began to fill you. "Yeah, fuck him."

There was a pause.

"You still love him, don't you?" Wanda asked.

You dragged your hand down your face. "Yeah. Yeah I do."


	11. Chapter 11

A loud knock on your door at three in the morning woke you. Your heart pounded. Who the fuck knocks at this hour?

You crept over to the door and looked out the peephole.

Oh God.

You opened the door. "What are you doing here, Loki?"

You squinted. "Wait, are you _drunk?_ "

Loki, who had been leaning against the wall, stood up straight and took a step toward you. Then began to tip, forcing you to catch him.

Yeah, he was drunk.

"Okay, c'mon," you grumbled.

You pulled him inside, shut the door, and sat him down on your couch. Then you went to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

"Do you need a place to crash tonight?" You called.

There was no way in hell you were gonna take him upstairs like this at three a.m.

His response was mumbled and slurred. "Yeah."

You went back over and set the glass down on the table. You looked him over. Red-rimmed eyes, paler complexion than usual, messy hair. To put it simply, Loki looked like hell.

Your first instinct was to comfort him. But then those angry words drifted through your mind.

_That kiss was a mistake._

And you just couldn't. So you started for your room. "Enjoy the couch."

"I miss you."

You froze. God, please no. Not tonight. Not now. Not ever.

"I'm not doing this when you're hammered," you said flatly, not turning around.

"I'm a fool."

"Yeah, you are."

"I lied, it wasn't a mistake. The mistake was letting you g--"

You whipped around. "Stop, Loki, you're drunk, for fuck's sake. If you really wanna do this, you're doing it sober. Drink some water, don't break anything, and go the fuck to sleep."

You stormed to your room, closing the door firmly behind you. You flopped face first on to your bed. Your eyes burned, but no tears came. You were too tired to cry.


	12. Chapter 12

Loki was gone when you got up the next morning. Probably for the best, even though you wished he'd stayed.

It was too early for this shit, man. But you couldn't stop thinking about it.

Loki rarely drank. Even when he did, he had to be truly upset to get drunk. This was only the second time in five years you'd seen him like this.

And then there was that confession. Or rather, the beginnings of it. Loki didn't express his feelings very often when he was sober; maybe getting drunk was the only way he could set his pride aside?

A knock on the door broke you out of your thoughts. You went to answer it, but hesitated. Was it Loki?

A quick glance through the peephole told you no, it was not. In fact, no one was even there. You cracked the door open to peek, and found a bouquet of flowers sitting on the ground. You picked them up and took them inside, closing it behind you.

You set them down on the counter and checked for a note, but there was none. You stared at the flowers, seeing if you recognized any. The action caused a pang in your chest. Loki had once spent an entire afternoon with you teaching you about flowers and their meanings.

Blue hyacinths, lilies of the valley, white orchids, pink carnations, and stargazer lillies.

You had received an apology and "I miss you" bouquet.

For some stupid reason, it hadn't occurred to you that Loki could just as well use flowers when all else failed.

You smiled a little. Maybe things were starting to look up.


	13. Chapter 13

_Of course_ you would twist your ankle. _Of course_ you would do it right outside the apartment building.

Shit.

You mulled over your options. Try to get inside, or call for help. You tried standing, put the slightest bit of weight on--fuck, shit, nope, not happening.

You dropped back down on the bench and sighed. You pulled out your phone. Nat and Wanda were still at work, almost everyone else was across town, so that left...

Damn. Damn, damn, damn.

You groaned. You _really_ didn't wanna have to call Loki. It would be awkward and weird, apology bouquet or not.

"Y/N?"

Oh thank God. You looked up and waved at Thor. "You're home early."

He shrugged. "Got off early. Why are you sitting on the bench you once deemed nasty?"

You winced. "I twisted my ankle."

"It's not sprained, is it?"

"No, just twisted. Could you help me get to my apartment? I can't really put much weight on it."

"Of course."

He pulled you up and half carried you inside the building, up the elevator and in your apartment.

"Would you like me to call someone?" Thor asked.

You shook your head. "No, I'll be fine. Thanks for half carrying me."

He grinned. "Any time."

You managed better on your own than you thought you would. By the time you went to bed, you were exhausted, and fell asleep almost immediately.

When you woke up the next morning, you almost had a heart attack.

" _Oh my God!_ " You shrieked.

Loki jerked awake and almost fell off the chair next to your bed. Under different circumstances, you would've laughed.

"What the _hell_ , Loki?" You demanded.

"My brother informed me you had sprained your ankle," he replied smoothly. "I came to check on you."

You were gonna kill Thor.

"Twisted," you sighed. "I _twisted_ my ankle. It's not sprained."

There was a pause as you sat up. "I appreciate your concern, but it's not needed."

"Then I won't bother you again," Loki replied coolly.

"Fine."

"Fine."

He got up and left. You fell back on your bed, grabbed a pillow and screamed into it.

Damn it all to hell.

You got up slowly, testing your ankle. You could walk fine on your own. It was sore, so you had a slight limp.

You hadn't been expecting Loki to still be here, staring at the flowers on the kitchen counter. Just as you opened your mouth to ask him what he was doing, there was a knock on the door.

You opened the door, and your jaw dropped.

"What are you doing here?" You asked.

"I came to see you," Christian said. He was trying to peek around you. "Did you get my flowers?" His eyes lit up. "Oh good, you did. I wasn't sure if you still lived here."

Your heart dropped. _Christian_ had sent them?

"What about Elena?" You asked.

"We broke up."

He said it so nonchalantly, it made you do a double take. "Huh?"

"After seeing you again, I realized how much I missed you. I wanted to be with you again, so I broke up with Elena and sent you flowers. It was a messy breakup so it took me a while to get here, but here I am."

Christian grinned. Over your shock, you gave him an unimpressed look and raised an eyebrow. "What makes you think I'm available?"

He rolled his eyes. "Please, Y/N, everyone knows you and Sir Hardass broke up."

Anger sparked in your chest at how he spoke about Loki. You glared at him. "I'll rephrase: what makes you think I want to be with you?"

He blinked. "But it's me."

"Yeah, it's you," you agreed, voice rising. You, who would always leave me alone at bars while you went off with your friends. You, who would constantly mock and belittle me. You, who always picked fights over the dumbest shit. You, who, even a year after we broke up, still made me the butt of your jokes when you saw me again. So no, I don't want you."

You hid your limp as best you could as you went and snatched those damn flowers off the counter and shoved them against Christian's chest.

"Take your sad stupid flowers and stay the hell away from me or I'll get you for harassment," you snapped.

You took immense pleasure in the stunned expression on his face as you slammed the door shut. You felt bad for Elena.

You took a few deep breaths and turned around.

"Why did you keep them?" Loki asked.

"I only know one person who puts messages in flower arrangements," you replied.

You started back to your room. Just as you passed Loki, he caught your wrist and pulled you in for a hug. You automatically returned it, then tightened your grip. Tears pricked your eyes, and you squeezed your eyes shut to hold them back.

Something occurred to you.

"What's on the coffee table?" You asked.

You pulled away and looked.

Flowers. Good God, more flowers.

"I swear to God, if it's from Christian--"

"It's not," Loki cut you off.

There was a pause.

"What's it mean?" You asked quietly.

"It's an apology," he replied slowly.

You couldn't help it. You started laughing a little. "If I don't laugh I'm gonna cry." Your voice broke at the end.

"Why didn't you take him back?"

You looked at him. "I don't love him."

"You don't?"

"No, you moron, I love _you._ "

Loki looked at you. "You love me?"

"Yes, I love you."

He took your hand and pulled you close, a smirk growing on his face. He placed his hands on your waist.

"That's good," he said.

"Yeah?"

He nodded. "Because I think I love you as well."

You smiled, wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him. When you pulled away, you buried your face in the crook of his neck.

"I missed you," you whispered.

Loki kissed the top of your head. "I missed you too."


End file.
